No Voice

Ever since I was 17, people have been commenting on my voice...
How deep it is, how resonant it is, how they like hearing it...
After awhile, I would thank them and try to not be as surprised by their compliment as they were about the sound of my voice...
I wasn't being conceded...I was just getting used to people saying something...
I was humbly acknowledging their notice of it and the gift I was blessed with...

As a voiceover actor, a compliment on my voice by a stranger made me wonder why more casting people for national commercials didn't feel the same way...
Sometimes, their comment could be like nails on a chalkboard because it reminded me that I had this voice and it frustrated me as to what to do with it...

And so after years of auditioning for other people, I decided to cast myself in my own voiceover project...
I began writing a script for a spoken word album that would feature just my voice...
I would be the principal player in my own gig!
It was empowering, but it took me 4 years to write the damn thing...
Procrastination has kept me from fulfilling some of my finest potential...

I recorded 2 more tracks last week, and due to some personal stuff lately, the recordings were not up to the standard that I'm trying to keep on the album...
I mean, this is my first album...I ain't gonna do it half-ass...
I'm not gonna pull a Chinese Democracy like Axl, but I want it to be as good as I can get it...

And I stressed about the wasted studio time and money because I'm trying to complete this in September...
I tossed and turned in bed the last few nights...
And today, while I was warming up for another recording session, I noticed my voice was kind of gone...
It's rare that it happens, but after home auditions and this dream project underway, I think I've overused the thing...
And so my friends, I'm not talking today to save it and give it some recoop time...

And I have no voice...
Could it be sabotage of the project?
Could it be stress of having a self-imposed deadline?
Could it be that my voicebox is reversing back to pre-puberty when I answered the home phone as a 14 year old and everyone thought it was my mom talking?

Let's just say that I'm a bit tired, and I need to rest it...
And for the first time since I said hello to a girl on the first day of senior year in high school, I'm grateful for my voice and I want it back!