The Hero Inside

Autumn, 2008...welcome, welcome, welcome...

The summer was a bitch for many different reasons, but here I am to greet you with a smile and a deep sigh of relief...

I've gotten my full voice back, and it feels good to walk into fall having a new found self-respect, a new humility and a new excitement...
Lessons have been learned, lessons that I needed to learn...
The universe has a rhyme and reason to everything...

Even as outside my window neighbors on my Brooklyn block argue in the sunny breezes,
I feel grateful to be exactly where I am today...
As painful as it has been to get here, and it's the kind of pain I wish on no one,
I'm glad I hung in there for this very moment...

You see, I kind of realized something about myself lately...

I just finished recording my first spoken word album "You Are The Hero"
And the journey to the final track was exciting, triggering, scary, joyful, anxiety ridden, peaceful, spiritual and exhilarating...it kicked my ass and kicked ass all at the same time!
And I got lots of support to make it through...

But the morning of my final day of recording, I had a personal setback...
And the universe got my attention with an issue that's been haunting me for a long time...
The details don't matter...I felt like a bomb went off in my face and it stung...you get the idea...
Even though I felt enough pressure to eat bricks, something wanted this to happen and for me to channel my feelings like a laser...
I was wounded, and I hurt...
And I said, "How am I gonna record today...I just wanna go home..."
And the hero inside of me spoke up and said, "You're gonna show up and
be the hero for yourself..."
So this album that I was creating to support and inspire others began to support and inspire me...

And I found myself in the studio not only recording the final tracks, but the personal drama from the morning faded away and it was just me and my project...
And when I said those last couple of words on that last track, I couldn't believe what had just happened...
A power greater than me did for me what I could not do for myself...
It's a power that is deep down within me...
It's the hero inside of me...
And you have one too...

And so today, on this first day of autumn, I have a new found respect and admiration for myself...for showing up for myself...for allowing the tears and fears to come and go...
for believing in myself to get through to the other side...for not giving up...
Rock it out, bro...rock it out