Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Son's Rite Of Passage

My Dad passed away last week, a day after his 86th birthday...

It's been a bit surreal getting used to the idea of him not being here, but I guess it's a rite of passage we all go through eventually...

He was a great guy, and I'm glad he was able to pass in his own home...


My Dad was my stepdad, but even though we weren’t blood related, we were connected in every other way a father and son can be...

He was a great father to me and we were close friends

There are so many memories I have of him, especially the way he enjoyed life...

He loved so many things, and he taught me how to enjoy and love these things as well


Dad loved skiing…

He took my brother and me to our first ski slope at Brody Mountain, and I remember him helping us learn how to grab the rope tow and get to the top of the hill without falling...

I still love skiing thanks to him


He loved tennis…

We watched some great matches with John McEnroe during the 70s, and Dad had such passion when watching a good game of any kind...

He kept up with the Giants right up until the end...

I still love playing and watching tennis thanks to him


Dad loved the ocean…

He used to take us to Long Beach when we were kids...

He’d pack turkey sandwiches with barbeque potato chips and we’d go for the day...

When I was 7 or 8 I had a fear of the ocean, and I remember him coaxing me to venture into the waves...

We’d go slow, a little farther and a little farther, and then all of a sudden, I was swimming right next to him


He taught my brother and I how to body surf the waves and really enjoy the ocean...

He taught us that when a rough wave is about to come at you, instead of going into it, just duck under it...

I still love swimming, and when I’m out there I think of something else he taught us about rough waters...

He said that whenever the undertow pulls you out, don’t fight it, don’t struggle with it...

Just relax and let the next wave push you back to shore...

That lesson still resonates with me to this day


Dad loved music and theater…

He and my mom would go to the opera and theater often

I still remember when my parents took my brother and I to see Frank Sinatra sing at Carnegie Hall with the Nelson Riddle Orchestra

It was a special event...

I remember driving with him and tape cassettes of The Carpenters and James Taylor on his car seat

And he could dance the lindy pretty well...


He loved a good movie and was known to stay up late catching the end of some flick

I sometimes do the same and think of him


Dad loved driving, and he’s the best driver I ever saw...

Sometimes when we were kids he’d drive with his knees to show us how good he was...

He could park anywhere, anytime...

He taught me how to drive, and when my girlfriend says how well I drive, I think of him as my teacher


Dad loved to laugh, and he had a great sense of humor

As my mom reminded me, he’d sit down in an Italian restaurant and ask the waiter, “Do you serve Chinese food here?”


Dad loved animals…he raised dogs and trained them for years

When we were young, we had a cat named Monty...

He actually taught Monty how to slide down the banister of the staircase in our house


Dad loved adventure…he learned how to fly planes during WWII, and he got me a glider lesson when I was in high school to introduce me to the thrill of flying...

He was always up for doing something, anything that was fun or exciting…

As my nephew recently said, “Ha-papa loved adventure and now he’s on to his next adventure!”


Dad was a great salesman of steel, and loved meeting with customers whether in the field or at dinner…

He was so bright, knowledgeable and helped so many clients in so many different situations…he was so handy


He loved to travel for work and play, and he and my mom enabled my brother and I to explore Puerto Rico as kids…

He taught us how to snorkel and see the most amazing fish, and got us to swim the dangerous waves of Humacao where you have to time it just right getting in and getting out of the water or you could crushed by a wave


And Dad loved to cook and eat...

He was an all-star snacker and a great chef

We all enjoyed his grilled chicken, baked potatoes and garlic bread

His chicken soup was first class and his fresh apple sauce was awesome with potato pancakes

He usually had a fresh tomato patch and we enjoyed many ripe tomatoes right off the vine

He always had a stash of Mallomars, dots, licorice (chocolate or black), and other treats somewhere in the pantry...

Late at night he’d ask me, “Are you hungry? Want some toast? How about some chips?”

He loved telling me about some new dish he was concocting


Dad was also known to partake in Costco cuisine, samples they offer at the megastore

He created an incredible salad that we still call a Mal salad, and I still make Mal eggs

It's just onion and green pepper and it tastes so good

I love fruits and vegetables because of my dad

We always had a bowl of summer fruit in the fridge, and he taught me how to enjoy all kinds of vegetables...

He always took care of himself, and he was a strong man right until he passed...


Dad loved us, his family...

We always had dinner together, and he believed in the spirit of family, of being together...

When I would visit, my mom, him and I would talk and after Mom went to bed, me and Dad would stay up later just catching up, maybe making a snack as well...

He was always supporting me, nurturing me, telling me how creative I was, how bright I was, what a good person I was...

I had some tough moments during my life, and he was always there for me through everything

He always asked how I was, and he was always interested in what I had to say...

He listened like what I said was so interesting to him

He always made me feel special

He always believed in me


In the last couple years, I had a feeling that I should stop and appreciate the moments with him

At a big family meal, I would just stop and look across the table at him

He’d catch me sometimes and just smile at me and I’d smile back...

And that was that


Dad, you are such a special person in my life…a special father, a special teacher and a special friend

Thank you for everything you did for me, you taught me and you passed on to me

Thank you your love and support

I’ll always remember it

I’ll remember your adventuresome spirit and zest for living

And when the undertow of life ever pulls me out to sea, I’ll remember what you said and let the waves

just push me back to shore...


I love you


Rob



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